


Talk To Me

by thesoundofnat



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4068805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve notices that Bucky is keeping something from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk To Me

**Author's Note:**

> I found this half-finished in my documents and to be quite honest I have no idea what I had intended for this to become, so I just made up a new ending. I hope you’ll like it!
> 
> Also posted on my tumblr thesoundofnat.tumblr.com

Steve was many things. The ones he’d admit to were the ostensible ones. The obtrusive facts. The evident pieces of reality that radiated from him. His small form, his weak state, his glitching health. Things he couldn’t really deny without adding poor eyesight to the list.

Then there were the things he knew were more or less true, but to which he was way too modest to voice, as some would say. First of all, he was smart. His intelligence was one of the few things he possessed that could make some particular individuals respect him despite the impression you get from a little trouble-seeking guy from Brooklyn. Again, not his words.

He apparently also had a good heart, but Steve had always found that vital in this world. Why shouldn’t you be a good person? He shouldn’t get credit for being a decent human being.

Something that almost no one knew about him, though, was that he noticed everything. He was observant because he knew he needed to. It was important to see things. He might not have the strength nor the skill to be a soldier, but at least he had the ability to pay attention. He could be a spy or something.

It turned out that being able to see things wasn’t just needed when out in war. He could use his little skill right here in good ol’ Brooklyn. And his first subject: his best friend.

Bucky Barnes had been by his side for what felt like ages. They didn’t have much in the world to begin with, but when they became acquainted they had next to nothing. So they became each other’s something, and it remained that way for a very long time.

But going from kids to teenagers to adults were huge steps to take in life, and even though nothing between them changed, things inside them did. New dreams, new ambitions, new thoughts and ideas. New feelings. They had always been able to talk to each other about everything going on in their heads or hearts or surroundings, so when Steve started noticing Bucky’s strange behavior he expected a heart to heart moment by the end of the week, but it never came.

Nada. Not a single word about anything left Bucky’s lips that week, except a few new versions of the usual conversations they had both memorized ages ago but still for some reason kept bringing back. Bucky didn’t seem to want to let Steve in on whatever it was that was bothering him, and it just made Steve even more determined to find out what it was. Bucky not talking equalled matters being serious.

How exactly was he acting strange? Well, Steve didn’t think anyone else would see it, but he did. He saw how Bucky’s gait wasn’t the same. He posture was slightly faltered, as if something was burdening him. He caught him opening and closing his mouth hastily more than once, like he had something to say but decided against it each time. He noticed the way he didn’t always look Steve directly in the eye, indicating a sort of timidness. Bucky was far from skittish, so Steve settled on guilt, uncertainty, or that he was hiding something. Most of Steve’s money were on the last one.

After having dealt with this subtle change of behavior for two weeks Steve decided to confront his friend about it. It was Wednesday, a rainy one in mid September, and Steve was constantly on edge about catching a cold. He’d spent the first half of the month in as healthy a stage as he’ll ever experience, so he didn’t quite feel like getting sick now.

Bucky shared his concerns, for he had offered to come over and make some soup that the two of them could devour for dinner. Steve didn’t object.

“You know me too well,” Steve said after they had eaten in silence for a few moments.

Bucky gave a quiet laugh. “Being your friend for so long and not noticing that you have a tendency to get sick every other minute would be pretty worrying.”

Steve rolled his eyes, slurping on the last spoonful of soup before leaning back in his chair. “So, if we’re such good friends, how come you’re keeping secrets from me?”

Bucky paused, his spoon halfway to his mouth. “What?”

Steve sighed. “Look, I don’t mean to pry in your personal life, and feel free to scold me if I go overboard, but something’s bothering you and you won’t tell me what it is. I get that it’s none of my business, but… Bucky, I just want to help you, dammit.”

Bucky dropped his spoon into his bowl and ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I just… Yes, something’s bothering me and I have no idea how to deal with it.”

“Will talk about it help?”

Bucky shrugged, looking a lot smaller all of a sudden. “No idea.”

“Okay,” Steve said, dragging out the word. “Well, if you tell me what it is, I might be able to help?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nuh uh. No way.”

“Well, that makes things difficult.”

Bucky laughed dryly. “Indeed.”

“Is it serious?” Steve asked after a while.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek. “It’s not a matter of life or death, but… It’s driving me insane, Steve. I’m going out of my mind.”

“Then dammit, Bucky, I don’t care if it’s hard.” Steve leaned forward, slamming his palm against the table, making it rattle. “Talk to me.”

“For heaven’s sake, Steve, I can’t!” Bucky snapped back. “I just can’t, okay?”

Steve let out a frustrated breath. “You’re impossible.”

Bucky pressed his lips together, averting his gaze.

They sat in silence for a few moments, both of them glaring at the table. Steve thought that it could probably fall over with the intensity of their stares.

“I’ve been struggling with my...identity,” Bucky finally said, his voice weak.

Steve looked up. “Your identity?”

Bucky nodded. “I...don’t think I’m just into girls.” He swallowed. “I think I’m into guys as well.”

“Oh.” Oh indeed. Steve cleared his throat. “Well, there’s nothing bad with that, right? Lots of people are bisexual.”

Bucky tensed at the word. “Bisexual,” he repeated, as if testing it out.

Steve nodded vigorously. “It’s totally normal.”

“Who else is,” He paused, looking up at him. “bisexual?”

“Oh, uh. I can’t really think of anyone right now...except myself, but…” He trailed off, smiling sheepishly at his friend.

Bucky had frozen on the spot. “You’re bi?”

“I’m bi.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“The same reason as you.”

Bucky exhaled. “Scary, isn’t it?”

“Very,” Steve agreed.

“Let’s just decide to tell each other everything from now on,” Bucky said. “I don’t think I can stand going through that again.”

“You won’t have to.”

And things were back to normal again and all was good.


End file.
